I am finally going to move over to my other Deviant account, this one will probably slowly fade away and be my own little glimmer of what I used to be. I just am not that happy go lucky magical person anymore. I have changed. I don't believe anymore and I'm realizing I don't care anymore either. Sinking deeper and deeper into the darker parts of myself...at first I tried to fight it off, but meh. It's amazing how much things changing around a person can actually change a person. I said that I would never let the world get to me or anything stop me. What the fuck happened? Why am I content with just sitting back and watching from now on? What the fork happened to me? I miss me and how I used to be. I miss things and how they used to be and I can't bloody get over it. I'm tired of being sick all the time. Blah blah blah blah...nothing but negativity and shite anymore and noone wants to hear that. I miss so many people, but most of all I miss myself and I can't face it anymore...
So I will be here from now on...

[link]

My favorite time of year has come and almost gone again, and I still feel starved to create more makeup creations...it's never enough, just never enough.

Something I found I want to do...

The point of this challenge is to test and improve your skill as an artist. After one-hundred pictures who wouldn’t be better. Please forgive me if this in any way excludes you from taking the challenge.

"The rules":

1.) Make one-hundred pictures, each picture having a theme listed below. Each picture should have ONE and only ONE theme to it, for it to count.

2.) No time limit, so have fun.

3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to. For all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the picture.

3a.) pics should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos or break any other rules set out in the DA etiquette policy. Your pictures can be anything from sketches and doodles to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.

4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see...

5.) Make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the picture.

6.) In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.

THE LIST

(artist's note/link: - equals finished.)

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain - [link]
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

I finally started...

If I were...

Listening to: Passenger - Deftones/feat. Maynard of Tool/APC

If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Sunday
If I were a time of day I would be: Night
If I were a planet I would be: Saturn
If I were a animal I would be: Manatee (Sea Cow) lol They are so cute!
If I were a direction I would be: Left
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a BIG comfy chair that would make anyone feel like a kid again in it...
If I were a historical figure I would be: Elizabeth I
If I were a liquid I would be: Water
If I were a tree I would be: a cherry tree
If I were a flower/plant I would be: white calalily
If I were a kind of weather I would be: Stormy-rain, thunder, lightning
If I were a musical instrument I would be: the bass possibly better the violin
If I were an emotion I would be: Lonliness
If I were a color I would be: blue
If I were a vegetable I would be: pea
If I were a sound I would be: the blowing wind
If I were an element I would be: water
If I were a car I would be: a 1969 SS Chevy Nova
If I were a song I would be: Passenger - Deftones feat. Maynard of Tool/APC
If I were a movie I would be directed by: M.K.S.
If I were a book I would be written by: Anne Rice
If I were a food I would be: Pizza
If I were a place I would be: somewhere in Irland
If I were a material I would be: Everywhere
If I were a taste I would be: probably rather unpleasing
If I were a scent I would be: in a bottle
If I were a word I would be: Unique
If I were an object I would be: a painting
If I were a body part I would be: breasts
If I were a facial expression I would be: frowning
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Daria
If I were a shape I would be a: swirl
If I were a number I would be: 13

Copy and paste, and show your real self through other things!

I'm glad I'm not...and just me

Back to trying to complelty collect myself after letting it all go. I can't dwell on my mom and dad forever, whatever will be is certainly going to be and I'm not in all control of that unfortunatly. I will miss the aspect of mom and dad and doing all the fun things I thought we would do together. Planning a wedding seems a little harder now for some strange reason, though it shouldn't really be affected. So I put all that aside for now, until James has a job going again there really is no point anyhow lol I feel a little lighter today. I'm starting to enjoy things again, for a moment there I was scared that I just had lost total interest in things and there was no hope, but things are starting to have a little bit of life in them again. I've been rearanging the apartment in my head like crazy so that I can get my art and sewing material out where I can access them easier. woohoo exciting Too much heavy stuff to move....big lizard home, entertainment center.....aaaaahhh what in the world am I starting? lol Well I am going to go and catch a little bit more of a snooze before I go off to work this morning. Just figured I'de actually update a little here instead of being a bump on a log...I must renew my subscriby too.....I do so like having that *runs away*